Drunken Master (1978) review

Jackie Chan in his prime

.Wong Fei-Hung (Jackie Chan) is a spoiled martial artist who lives under the shadow of his rich father Wong Kei-ying (Kau Lam) but one day while he's in the market he picks on a girl who turns and her mother fights him. He loses, but it turns out she was his aunt. Now his father disowns him and he has to go into training to win back his father's favor.

Wong Fei-hung vs. Thunderleg (Jang Lee Hwang)

This movie is the best comedy around. It is just pure cocaine of laughter. It has a ridiculously well done amount of amazing fights all round the movie. Just the humor of this movie is timeless (I watched it last night). The finish pays off purely. Su Hua chin plays a hilarious character as well with great bits with Chan. It also immediately builds up characters  such as Thunderleg killing a martial arts champion for $400 at the beginning of the movie. It doesn't skip the essential emotions needed to make a martial arts movie. The scene where Wong gets beat up by Thunderleg and loses his arrogance and runs to Sam Seed to be trained was just great.

The Karate Kid (1984) review

You're the best, around.

In the sense of the word, this movie was pretty dope. It's a time capsule of the 80's. Now after the disaster of synopsis' that I have ever done are better unwritten, so let's just write a tiny one. So Daniel (Ralph Macchio) moves into San Fernando Valley, he falls in love with Ali (Elisabeth Shue) who is the ex-girlfriend of cool-kid Johnny (William Zabka) who knows Karate. Now Mr. Miyagi (Noriyuki Morita) who is the handy man at Daniel's new home will teach him Karate to win the tournament against Johnny's dojo, helmed by Kreese (Martin Kove) a 'murican man!

Daniel, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!

It doesn't really matter what I think of this movie because everyone gave it critical acclaim and I'm just going to do the same. I don't know what I can say about this movie that you haven't heard but here we go. The soundtrack was amazing. The training sequence and the whole montage was extremely well done and the teenage love thing was actually not annoying. My dark horse favorite part was when Bobby (Ron Thomas) is forced by Kreese to disqualify himself by destroying Daniel's calves. He immediately starts shouting I'm sorry Daniel, I was forced to do it. This was just a fantastically done sequence of true emotion. From start to finish, this was just an impactful movie and mark it here and now, inspired me to go forth and train Taekwondo.

Money In The Bank (2011) review

Big Show on the poster

Match #1: Heath Slater vs. Kane vs. Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel

Now, you might say, why is there a picture of Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater trying to grab the briefcase. It's because the neckbreaker off the ladder was just my favorite spot. The entire match had a pretty amount of great bumps. botches were scarce and Daniel Bryan winning the briefcase was a well booked finish. Before this there was an amazing CM Punk  vs John Cena promo package. Wade Barrett looks suave as ever, certainly as suave as ever. Interestingly Heath Slater came out to the theme from his team with Gabriel "Black or White" by Bleeding in Stereo but Gabriel came out to Otunga's theme, it kind of made me laugh. There was a pretty smart ladder spot when Sin Cara went for the typical baseball slide into the ladder held by Gabriel and Slater but then the pulled the ladder up and then Sin Cara just slid out of the ring and out of the barricade. There was a surprisingly athletic springboard corkscrew plancha by Slater which took out the grotesque, Rhodes. But the highlight that people probably remember from this match, other than Bryan winning, was Sheamus knocking Sin Cara out with a Brogue Kick and then powerbombing him through a ladder, sending him backstage on a stretcher. Later on, there was a pretty nasty bump when Sheamus and Kane did the doomsday device on Bryan, almost killing him. Throughout the match, Kane was pretty dominant, dishing out chokeslams from hell to everyone. He also got a pretty descent pop. Another nasty spot was Sheamus Bicycle kicking a ladder into Barrett's face. As much as Sheamus was dealing out bumps, he took a chokeslam off the ladder and onto another ladder wedged between a corner and ladder step. Another highlight was Gabriel doing a 450 Splash from the top of a horizontal ladder on the top rope and which was pretty impressive. A nice Pumphandle Slam by Barrett deserves a mention. In one of the strong spots on in the match, Bryan put Rhodes in a Guillotine Choke on top of the ladder while Barrett scrambles to get the briefcase off the distraction. The last part was Bryan hitting a pretty strong roundhouse kick on Barrett's cranium, knocking him off the ladder and cementing his name in the history of the WWE SmackDown briefcase. As evident by how much I could write about this single match, I really loved it.

Match #2: Kelly Kelly (c) w/Eve Torres vs. Brie Bella w/Nikki Bella

K2 by Kelly Kelly

This match was pretty short. I like Kelly Kelly and I think if they had it going on longer, the Divas could showcase more of their wrestling skills. The leg drop bulldog pictured above was the wrestling highlight of the match. Also there was a little funny quote from Nikki, justifying Brie's loss, "She doesn't even eat!"

Match #3: Big Show vs. Mark Henry

The World's Strongest Slam didn't work its magic

This match started even but then there were two falling powerslams but to make sure he stood down (like I do on wrestling games so the opponent would stay on the table and wouldn't move). There were two more World's Strongest Splash by Henry to solidify a win. Again, a short match but the running splash at the end could have been done with a little resistance from Big Show. Henry beat up Show to a pulp and basically obliterated him. But the post match assault made a funny yet bad spot. Henry tries to solidify his territory in the WWE jungle, he wedged Big Show's leg in a steel chair. Then he slingshotted off the ropes onto Show's leg. Now, this is just pure speculation, but I think Henry botched it. It looked like it had to be a lighter splash but it turned into a double knee drop creating a FATALITY!!!!!! This lead to a funny moment of Big Show keeping himself but then yelling F*ck. It looked like a bad situation and it became funny.

Match #4: Evan "Air" Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. "The Truth" R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio for the RAW Money In The Bank Briefcase

619 on the LADDER!!!!!! This is back when Rey was athletic as hell

The start was something else. Everyone started grabbing ladders to combat everyone. This match was filled with more spots rather than bumps. Kofi and Bourne held a ladder and then Rey jumps off the ladder and hurricanrana sending his opponent out. While everyone is on the outside Bourne did a Shooting Star Press off a pretty high ladder. In this match Kofi was nothing short of Spider-man in the match. There were many nasty falls though which looked more like botches than intentional. Del Rio almost broke Miz's knee by pulling the ladder and Miz grabbing the briefcase for a moment. The end came when Del rio unmasked Rey on the top off the ladder, tossed him off but that caused his ladder to fall. He had to put it back up and then took the briefcase.

Match #5: Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian for the World Heavyweight Championship, in case of Orton getting disqualified or poor officiating Christian would win the belt

Christian wins the BELT!!!!

There's a terrifying and brutal moment in the match where Christian did a diving headbutt. Orton kicks out of a Killswitch. Lawler mistakes the gutwrench elevated neckbreaker for an RKO which is forgivable . In the end Christian spat in Orton's mouth and got Orton mad who kicked him in the man bits which caused Christian wins the belt on the special stipulation. I personally prefer Christian to The Viper because he is just a better performer. Orton didn't take the loss lightly and hit Christian across the face with a TV monitor. Two RKO's on the announcers table sends the Chicago crowd into chaos. In the replay it looked like it was Orton's fault with him pulling his head up in the last moment. Anyway, it was a descent match.

Main Event: John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk for the WWE Championship, if Cena lost he would be fired

CM Punk sets up the Go to Sleep

The promo package is outstanding editing. There was a point where Michael Cole said Cena has never been in such an environment (in enemy territory), which just reminded me of 2006 when Cena took on Rob Van Dam in the Hammerstein Ballroom at ECW One Night Stand 2006. At that event there wasn't a single Cena fan in that crowd but there were a couple in MITB. Also Cole starts mentioning great WWE champions but he forgot Mick Foley. There were two Juggalos in the crowd. I don't know what purpose did the RAW General Manager laptop and podium serve. There was a pretty brutal spot in the ring. Cena was on the apron and then Punk did a diving knee drop to the back of Cena's head. Another awesome spot was the suplex to the outside, which I have always seen attempted but never actually done. The entire grappling of this match was five star. There's a moment when Cena put Punk in the STF but then Punk masterfully switches it into an Anaconda Vise. Cena later powers out and hits an AA. There was a moment where Punk hit the GTS but Cena fell out of the ring. Then Vince McMahon shows up which almost makes the Chicago Screwjob a reality but Cena punches Laurinaites in the face but as soon as he gets back in, out of the distraction, Punk hits the Go To Sleep.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) review

Jonathan Liebesman (Wrath of the Titans) crosses the line and reboots the holy calf

April O'Neil (Megan Fox) is trying to rise in the ranks of the New York Channel 6's Eyewitness News and keeps trying to get in on the dangerous news with her partner Vernon Fenwick (Will Arnett) which just keeps de-ranking her. Until she catches a glimpse of ninjas who take a subway hostage but can't cover it because she doesn't have a camera. Not big on letting people die, the Turtles in disguise jump in and kick ass but April couldn't capture any of it. She makes it her mission to get to the Turtles and when she does, 

Michaelangelo (motion captured and voiced by  Noel Fisher) 

Trying my best to do away with the story synopsis (we all know, I'm not that good at synopsis writing) shot for shot, this was a fun movie. I remember the first time I saw the Turtles in the Half Shell, I watched the 2003 tv series. I went to this movie with my little brother and we enjoyed it the whole time. I kind of cringed at the cheasy Wiz Khalifa song at the end but the rest of the movie had the Michael Bay touch (which I love) and the protagonists were lovable, they could have done more with Shredder but this movie pretty much did its job. Which was to make me want to watch the next one. I give it an 8/10 overall, they could have done it without the Wiz Khalifa song.

Wrestle Kingdom 9 (2015) review

My first wrestling event!

Finally I made it to a wrestling event!

Bullet Club Cap and I was ready for the event two hours before it started!

Match one: Dark 15-man New Japan Rumble

This will go down as the first wrestling match I watched live. The first entrances were accomponied with kids dressed as Tiger Mask and Jushin Thunder Liger. There was a perfect Jacknife pin / suplex combo done by Yohei Kamatsu and Sho Tanaka was pretty sweet. The rest of the match had ridiculous moments of awesomeness and it was just well done. Taka Michinoku showed up as well but in the end Yuji Nagata won the Battle Royal. By the way I'll try to use my own photos because I have no other outlet to put it out there, sorry.

You know its gonna be good when the arena is almost packed for a dark match

Match #2: reDRagon (c) vs. Forever Hooligans vs. Time Splitters vs. The Young Bucks for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships

Leave every other tag team match alone, this was incredible. It was just holy sh*t moment after holy sh*t moment. Every move was full of impact. It was just a joyful ride full of whiplash worthy moves. Its amazing how there were no neck injuries after Matt and Nick Jackson kept dealing out those superkicks.

Chasing The Dragon by reDRagon (I didn't take a photo of this match because my phone died and I didn't get my sister's phone in time)

Match #3: Bullet Club with Karren Jarrett and Scott D'Amore vs. Hiroyoshi Tenzan, Satoshi Kojima and Tomoaki Honma

This is what I call a cool match. It wasn't super amazing and jaw dropping but it had cool moments with Jeff Jarrett using the acoustic guitar and seeing it shatter live was pretty dope. Bad Luck Fale was just huge compared to the others and it reminded me of Joey Styles talking about Big Show back in 2006 saying that TV doesn't do the Big Show justice. And by god does Honma drop so many headbutts. 

Thats Yujiro Takahashi on the screen surrounded by girls

Match #4 Suzuki-gun vs. Naomichi Marufuji, TMDK and Toru Yano

I was just a little disappointed in this match because I was just hoping to see more out of Lance Archer, Shelton X Benjamin and Davey Boy Smith but other than that Shane Haste and Mikey Nicholls brought a fast pace to the match. And also Takashi Lizuka has a creepy presence

Suzuki-gun's entrance

Match #5: Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Minoru Suzuki

This was a brutal match. From what I understood Kazushi is actually a mixed martial artist. There were moments when it seemed they would get knocked out but they would get back up. I gave Kazushi a chance because Suzuki got the bigger response but he won anyway. Also his entrance said I've got to be a lonely warrior tonight. Wait, what?

Kazushi Sakuraba's entrance, if you were wondering, no he didn't wear a mask

Match #6: Tomohiro Ishii (c) vs. Togi Makabe for the NEVER Openweight Championship

This was a fantastic brawl they put on with great moments such as Ishii hiting a hard lariat almost beheading Makabe but I was cheering Makabe along to win the belt. But I was already through my second large coke (which had two straw holes designed in it) and had to leave for the toilet. While i was leaving Makabe did the King Kong Knee Drop and won the match. Thank God I caught the end before I left. 

Togi Makabe's entrance

Match #7: Ryusuke Taguchi (c) vs. Kenny Omega (with Nick and Matt Jackson) for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship

This is the match I went to see. After seeing a couple of Kenny Omega matches on the ROH on demand thing I just wanted to see this guy in action. His awesome moves were on display like the dragon rebirth. The Kotaro Krusher was just beautiful live. It ended with Katayoku no Tenshi which was a one handed electric chair driver which was just f*cking awesome. It ended the match and made my my night.

Kenny Omega wins IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion

Match #8: Bullet Club with Amber O'Neil and Tama Tonga (c) vs. Meiyu Tag for the IWGP Tag Team Championships

YEAH! Its Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows! but they  lost :( Either way it was a well paced match. It went places where you thought the match was over but no it just kept going, just topping itself over and over. Gallows hit an awesome chokebomb but no pin! I mean that looked like it annihilated the guy. and the PK Penalty Kick by Shibata was just brutal. 

Karl Anderson shooting the titantron was amazing live.

Match #9: Aj Styles vs. Tetsuya Naito

Without a question, this was a five star match. I didn't see any botches, the strikes were hard hitting and the grappling was phenomenal. The two competitors were in sync and had chemistry and the Calf Killer by AJ looked like he was almost going to pull Naito's leg out of its socket. It ended with a face crushing Styles Clash off the top rope.

AJ Styles entrance

Match #10: Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. Kota Ibushi for the IWGP Intercontinental Championship

Do yourself a favor and get this match and see it. It was fantastic, hard hitting and just full of balls to the wall action. Ibushi put on quite the show. There was a beauty in motion dead lift half nelson suplex. But Nakamura backed up his nickname of King of Strong Style with brutal knee lifts left and right. There was a diving knee lift to the back of Ibushi's head and the Boma Ye was heard around the arena. This was definitely a five star match.

Kota Ibushi's entrance

Match #11: Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs. Kazuchika Okada for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship

This match is the reason why I'll definitely go to the New Japan Pro Wrestling event when I go to Japan again. There was a fantastic diving elbow drop by Okada which is one of my favorite maneuvers of all time. The match spilled out of the ring at one point and there was a brutal vertical suplex on the entrance ramp. Then Tanahashi dived over the top rope and over the guardrail which was just fantastic. Okada hit a picture perfect bridging german suplex. The Rainmaker lariat looked pretty brutal. The bridging dragon suplex by Tanahashi was so well excuted which looked more like a video game move rather than executed in real life. Tanahshi retained his belt and the arena was just ruckus throughout the match and they were split between both of them.

. 

The Hobbit: Battle of The Five Armies (2014) review

The movie poster

Bigger, badder and better. I mean it took two movies to build up to this, so...  After Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch) ran out of the Lonely Mountain in the last movie it takes the best haunting skills to take him down. Thorin (Richard Armitage) is open to letting the humans in the Laketown die while he took over the Lonely Mountain's treasure. Balin (Ken Scott) sees Thorin slip into insanity as he gets the arkenstone from Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman). Gandalf (Ian McKellen) is back from his side quest to save the day and stuffs.

One of the awesome battles in the movie

Having seen the older trilogy (The Lord of the Rings trilogy) you shouldn't go into this movie expecting it to top that. But this definitely tops its own trilogy. But you get what you bargain for, good performances, emotional scenes, Peter Jackson awesomeness and just more of the world of J.R.R. Tolkien's books. Now I haven't seen Unexpected Journey or read the book so this is purely the review from a guy who've just seen it. Either way it made me cry when Kili died and it is overall a good payoff and a great movie on its own. 10/10.

Jurassic Park III (2001) review

The awesome movie poster

Here we go, now I've watched all three Jurassic Parks and I'm locked and ready for Jurassic World hitting theaters in just under 4 days. When Eric (Trevor Morgan) and his mother's boyfriend Ben Hildebrand (Mark Harelik) go boat towing by the Isla Sorna or the mysterious Site B where the events of the previous film took place, their boat captain mysteriously disappears and their boat crashes. Eight weeks later a man by the name of Paul Kirby (William H. Macy) approaches Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neil) to be his guide on a trip he and his wife are taking over Isla Sorna. Alan is low on budget for his digging site and with further convincing by one of his helpers Billy Brennan (Alessandro Nivola) he agrees to go back into the environment of living dinosaurs, hoping to fund his research.

It is confirmed that real animatronic dinosaurs were used for this film

You might have noticed how I tried my best to zoom through the introduction because now I want to give to my opinion piece. Critics had me ballin' on this one, mainly because the entire time I was trying to see the enormous flaws they saw, yet I found none. Of coarse there are little flaws here and there which kind of illustrates and further reminds us of Spielberg's absence but Joe Johnston does the best a non-Steven Spielberg director can. "THIS IS A HERBIVORE and he is the dinosaur man!" It shows us Alan and Ellie (Laura Dern)'s life after the events of the first movie. The lucky bag is here again. Alan Grant is brought back with to perfection by Sam Neil. There's a talking velociraptor. The Kirbys make the story close to the former movies, people new to dinosaurs. This time the T-Rex isn't the threat which is refreshing There's more blood. The animatronics are still there which already makes it a good movie. The charm and the tension of the former movies are restored to some point. Eddie was the hero last time and now Billy is a GODDAMN HERO!!!! Dinosaur shit saves lives. Fun fact: It was 250 pounds of oatmeal. Now that I have stated the great things about the movie let me tell you the couple of flaws here and there. Spoiler Alert!!!!! Billy lives. Which takes away from the stakes of the movie. In the last movies when someone died they stayed dead which set the stakes even higher. And the ending where the marines and the navy showed up made little to no sense whatsoever. In the end of all I can barely shave 2 point because of these plot points, so this movie gets an 8/10. Can't wait for Jurassic World.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) review

Alternate movie poster

After the events of the first movie, Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) has been telling the media all about it but since he signed a non-disclosure agreement he is summoned by InGen which is no longer run by John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) but by his nephew Peter Ludlow (Arliss Howard). Hammond puts together a team of researchers to preserve the information off the dinosaurs that live in the backup island, Isla Sorna. Nick Van Owen (Vince Vaughn), who is a well traveled documentarian, Eddie Carr, a technology expert, both in vehicles and communications. but the last member causes Malcolm to have to go as well, his girlfriend, Sarah Harding (Julianne Moore, who is always lovely). But after a couple of hours there, the other team arrives. Yet they're not here to research but to pillage.Rather than researchers this team is mostly consisted of army men and the world's second greatest predator, Roland Tembo (Pete Postlethwaite). 

Nick Van Owens sets up his awesome equipment 

!!!!Caution, spoilers ahead!!!!

I personally don't understand the critics' beef with this movie. Then, again, I don't understand critic beef most of the time. Now let me run down the reasons why other than a couple of flaws this movie was as good as the predecessor. Eddie, one of the main characters literally sacrifices his life for a team he had just known for a couple of days. A GODDAMN HERO! Vince Vaughn's character is fantastic. He is totally out of his comfort zone and he makes a environmentalist seem like the coolest dude in the movie. Jeff Goldblum brings an eerie presence with his character. Pete Postlethwaite's character is as badass as it can be. For an action sci-fi film this is pretty smart. Kelly (Vanessa Lee Chester) -Ian Malcolm's daughter turns out to be radical, killing a raptor by hand. And "T-Rex in the city?". It brings out the stakes that the original didn't have, with the entire San Diego in the danger of getting mauled by a T-Rex. There is one brief crash scene which was just so well made I had to mention it. In one of the wrecks a giant 76 ball falls in a gas station which looks like a big cue ball which is just great. And finally when the T-Rex and its offspring are being transported to Isla Sorna, John Hammond says this amazing quote,

-"If we can only trust in nature, life will find a way." 

Overall to me this movie is a 10 out of 10.

Jurassic Park (1993) review

Movie poster

What an intimidating movie. Intimidating in the way that there will never be a better dinosaur film. The fact that the dinosaurs were literally made and weren't computer generated. When John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) needs the approval of experts to go on with his park of dinosaurs he hired Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neil) and Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern). His investors' lawyer Donald Gennaro (Martin Ferrero) brings in the mathematician Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum). To inspect the park and make sure its failure free, Hammond sends his grand children Tim (Joseph Mazzello) and Lex (Ariana Richards) Murphy to go and take a tour of the park. But when Dennis Nedry (Wayne Knight) attempts to steal dinosaur DNA he shuts off the system which causes the park to be thrown into chaos.

Dr. Sattler and Dr. Grant witness their first living dinosaur

The movie is visually pleasing. The dinosaurs look f'n fantastic. The Samuel L. Jackson role was awesome and the story was pretty decent. Richard Attenborough's John Hammond was fun and fantastic. The movie's effects still hold up today, the cast was badass. This movie is differently a 10/10. The ambiguous whereabouts of the rest of the Dino DNA was pretty entertaining.